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Are you tired of being misunderstood by those who share the world around you? Like it or not, that's the price you have to pay for being brilliant.

Let's face facts: There are over five billion people on this here planet. Most of them either border on idiocy, or don't have web access. Therefore, on this here Broke & Brilliant Random Thoughts page, you can feel free to write anything you want about whatever it is that you want to write anything about. Tell me that ain't power!

So, send along your Broke & Brilliant Random Thoughts. You'll be glad you did.

Student Loan Committe Meeting

In order for a loan to be approved by a bank, it has to be approved by a loan committee. That means when I was in college, someone had to tell the loan committee at his bank why he thought I was a good credit risk.

What that idiot said probably sounded something like this: "Sure, I know he's lazy, drinks all day, smokes all night and hasn't been to class in weeks, but he'll pay us back -- He's a HISTORY MAJOR... He'll be rolling in the dough when he graduates!
-- Noonan

Changing Majors

I had to change majors while in college because all the drugs I was doing caused me to have problems with my short-term memory. So, I went from being an engineering student to a History Major. The way I figured, if something happened way in the past, I'd at least have a chance of remembering it.
-- Noonan

Debunking Myths

I just read, on your "Myths and Realities" page, the myth that "You cannot be simultaneously rich and happy." While I agree with you that this is a myth, I disagree with your assertion as to its origin. Rather than being a lies propogated by the rich, I believe this is an excuse the poor use as a justification for not being willing (or able) to the things necessary to become rich.

I doubt if you've ever actually heard a rich person repeat this myth. I've heard just the opposite. I've heard rich people, one after the other, say, "I've been rich and I've been poor, and rich is better."
-- Hal Scoggins, Texas

On Neanderthal Man

About the only thing I can manage to do when I'm feeling all broke and depressed is watch The Discovery Channel. (You know, I'll bet the things they show wouldn't be such a discovery to me if I hadn't slept my way through high school and drank my way through college.)

Every once in a while I hear something on The Discovery Channel that make me wonder if the guys who write their script aren't the same drunk guys I hung around with in college.

One time, I heard Walter Cronkite (the most trusted man in America) say: "We know that Neanderthal Man was the first humanoid species to bury its dead. What we don't know is what he was thinking while he did it."

Well Walter, I'll take a shot at thinking like a Neanderthal on this one. How's about: "Something Smells! Now, I know we have a few rungs to climb on the evolutionary ladder, but I'm willing to bet it's Uncle Og. That worthless bastard hasn't moved in weeks. Either we bury him deep into the ground... or it's time to fight a pack of sabre tooth tigers over another cave. And I'm not looking forward to that one!"
-- Noonan

Our Dave

For years, Dave Thomas of Wendy's Hamburger Restaurants has been pushing Bacon, Double-Bacon-Cheese, Bacon-Wrapped, Bacon Burgers.

Then, he has one little heart attack and ya' know what's on the menu now? Pita Stuffed Sandwiches.

Of course, the fact that those Pita Sandwiches are Stuffed with Bacon tells me that Ol' Dave didn't exactly follow doctor's orders on this one...
-- Noonan

The One Rate Plan

I saw a commercial on TV about the new One Rate Plan that AT&T is offering for long distance calls. This got me upset because I'm an AT&T customer and I seemed to have been excluded from this nifty little promotion of theirs.

So, I called AT&T and talked to some lady. She told me that the Fifteen-Cents-a-Minute plan was the lowest rate AT&T offered. When I asked her why it appeared that I was paying around Fifteen Dollars a Minute for their service, she said, "Oh. Well, we had no way of knowing that you wanted the lowest rate we offered."

Now, this is about an $80 billion dollar company we're talking about here, right? I would have thought that after all the years that they were a monopoly and raped us because they had no competition, that somebody there, maybe even a janitor for chrissakes, would have taken an educated guess and hypothesized that yes, indeed, each and every one of its fifty million customers would want to be charged the lowest rates possible!
-- Noonan

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(Since January 15, 1997)