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According to one exhaustingly-researched theory, mine, the Earth was formed over four billion years ago. The total cost for this endeavor was, in round figures, nothing. Owing to the timeless adage of "you get what you pay for", this shoddily-constructed planet was incapable of supporting life for its first three billion years of existence.
From the midst of the primordial soup of sea water, vulcanic lava and toxic gases came forth life. The first single-celled beings begot plants and insects and fish and dinosaurs. A scant nine hundred and ninety-nine million years later, man unceremoniously crawled forth onto this glaringly-imperfect obloid spheroid.
For the next nine hundred and ninety thousand years, man, an illiterate and superstitious being, scoured the earth for tokens and charms that would serve to protect him from the dangers of the hunt. The most useful of these charms proved to be a shiny, malleable, ductile, yellowish metal with an atomic number of 79, an atomic weight of 196.96654 and a symbol on the period table of periodic elements of au. When copious sums of this beguiling metal were stealthily presented to the tribal elders, said presenters were no longer required to participate in the deadly daily hunts. Thus the genesis of the age-old Irish proverb, "He who giveth freely of the gold is rarely trampled to death by hairy Mastodons."
A scant ten thousand years later, a similar strategy kept our nation's priviledged sons from venturing into the far-away land of Victor Charlie. Only this time, the medium of exchange was a crafty combination of linen paper and ink, backed not by the maleable metal mentioned previously, but by an elitist institution of the Tri-Lateral Commission, commonly referred to as the Federal Reserve Board.
For those in possession of neither the mysterious malleable metal nor the niftily-inked linen paper, life on this planet has proven to be much more of a challenge. Let us, then, briefly examine man's rich history of being flat broke.
Influential people who were broke their entire lives:
"There will always be poor." Jesus Christ
"What do you mean you wanted an earring? Now what am I going to do?" Vincent Van Gogh
"What I wouldn't do for a shower right now..." Che Gueverra
"I think I'll go to France." Charles Manson relating his plans to a parole board.
"If Charlie wants to go to France, damn it, let him go!" Noonan
The same goes for mass murder. You never heard Charles Manson say, "If only I had a little more money, I could have killed a lot more rich piggies", now did you? He made due with what he had. So should you! For more inspiring thoughts as how best to manage the broke life, keep working your way through The Broke & Brilliant Web Site.
Noonan
Broke & Brilliant, A Survival Guide
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