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Results based on 107 completed surveys. Last updated April 12, 1997.

My job provides me with:

21% a paycheck, satisfaction, respect from my co-workers, medical insurance, a retirement plan and the opportunity to fulfill my career goals.

41% food, beer and tax-free cash.

38% What job?

My health care plan consists of:

29% HMOs, dental plans, catastrophic medical and pregnancy insurance.

71% I don't get sick. I can't afford it.

I can be anything I want to be:

51% if only I put my mind to it.

49% on my resume.

To me, credit is:

42% the exchange of goods and services for the promise of future payment.

58% just another word for free!

If I ever meet my student loan officer in person, I will:

20% apologize for never putting him on my Christmas card list.

80% Go For The Head Shot!

In college, I:

16% studied every night, got good grades and lined up a job before I graduated.

84% drank like a fish, smoked like a chimney and cried like a tot on graduation day.

In my spare time I like to:

40% mow the lawn, barbeque steaks and spend quality time with my family.

60% create crop circles, mutilate cattle, impregnate hick, midwestern housewives and blame it all on space aliens.

Someday after making it, I will look upon my days of struggling and:

56% laugh.

44% cry.

I believe that the United Nations:

15% has secret armies based in the mountains and will someday take over America.

85% can't even defend itself against malnourished, pebble-throwing, third-world peasants.

I will never trust

14% a communist.

9% whitey.

78% anyone.

I experimented with drugs:

23% repeatedly when I was young and didn't fully comprehend the dangers.

77% once. And then I took them repeatedly for their effect.

I avoid paying taxes by:

10% spending twice what my tax bill would be on a Harvard-educated CPA.

64% never earning any money.

25% never filing a return.

To me, cuddling after sex is:

46% the highlight of a wonderful, emotion-filled, interpersonal experience.

54% rather unfulfilling, as I am generally the only one in the room at the time.

With every meal that I eat:

22% I pray to God and thank him for providing me with my daily sustenance.

78% I believe that at least one animal shall have died.

I believe that Jesus saves:

37% our souls from the eternal fires of hell.

63% therefore, he must be worth billions by now.

I believe that God:

41% created the Universe and all that exists within it.

59% has it in for me.

In order to stop those annoying calls from bill collectors, I:

24% am polite on the phone and promptly send a check in the amount requested.

76% refuse to pay the phone bill, thus instilling peace and tranquility in my domicile.

I believe that Canadians are:

64% harmless, if a bit quirky, and generally of benefit to mankind.

36% all Satan's children.

Whenever I find a dollar on the street, I:

4% make every effort to return said dollar to the rightful owner.

96% emit a shrill cry of girlish glee.

My favorite movie is:

4% either episode of the frolicking, feel-good Free Willy series.

96% either Goodfellas, Kalifornia, True Romance, Apocalypse Now, Barfly or Caddyshack.

I believe that if a full-grown dog is small enough to fit in a microwave oven:

23% it is probably "cute" and full of personality.

77% it belongs there.

My favorite chef in the whole wide world is:

18% Chen Yan, from "Wokking with Yan."

49% Dave Thomas from Wendy's.

33% Chef Boyardee.

For the Men -- My dream date is:

5% a girl just like the girl that married dear old dad.

33% some anonymous floozy with the moral fortitude of Madonna.

62% a woman. Oh God, yes. A woman.

For the Ladies -- My dream date is:

31% Noonan.

69% anyone on God's green earth but Noonan.

I found out about The Broke & Brilliant Web Site Through:

Newspaper Column. 6%

Recomendation from a Friend. 12%

Link from another Site. 53%

Internet Search Engine. 1%

Pure Luck. 21%

Other. 7%

Age:

Under 18. 7%

18 to 25. 47%

26 to 30. 17%

31 to 35. 9%

36 to 45. 14%

46 to 55. 5%

56 to 65. 2%

Over 65. 0%

Sex:

Male. 55%

Female. 45%