THE WIND AND THE SUN
(AFTER AESOP)
a play-in-progress
draft 4of 5

(14 pages long)

Scene 1        Scene 2        Scene 3        Scene 4    Scene 5      EPILOGUE

draft four

THE END (draft 4)

THE WIND AND THE SUN
(AFTER AESOP)
a play-in-progress
draft 3 of 5

CAST for workshop:

Scene 1        Scene 2        Scene 3        Scene 4    Scene 5      EPILOGUE

First Performance will be September 14th 2006
Third Age Project
The Crypt
Munster Square
London NW1 3PL

THE WIND AND THE SUN
a play-in-progress
draft 2 of 5

CAST:

WIND
SUN
RAIN
TRAVELLER ONE
TRAVELLER TWO


Scene 1        Scene 2        Scene 3        Scene 4    Scene 5      EPILOGUE

THE WIND AND THE SUN
a play-in-progress
draft 1 of 5
first draft devised by Babushka,Carol,
Eppie, Islam, and Patsy
30.03.2006

CAST:

WIND:
Serajul Islam Molla

SUN:
Patsy Futatsugi

RAIN:
Babushka

TRAVELLER 1:
Eppie Caredda

TRAVELLER 2:
Carol Moon

Scene 1        Scene 2        Scene 3        Scene 4    Scene 5      EPILOGUE

.......................................................................................................................................

STAGES OF REWRITES
IN THE POETIC PLAY WORKSHOP

draft 1 script 
30.01.2006
acting out the parts to
understand the relationships
between the characters
(finding the story)

strengthening the narrative links and transitions
(finding the structure)...............

draft 2 script
a sit down workshop, reading through the script
creating characterising dialogue for the characters
(finding the speaker)

strengthening the moral of the story throughout
(finding the focus)

NEEDED: scripts for everyone taking part in the revision.

PROCEDURE: Rewriting the Beginning and Ending of the play.

This rewrite was done on two separate days, first by Kathy, then Islam,
with Kim as their dramaturge. The rewrites came from reading through
the script, rather than watching actors perform. As well as being poets,
Kathy and Islam are talented actors in the Third Age Project's Drama
Club. Their dramatic experience proved useful in creating the second
draft because they are familiar with dramatic techniques (and, more
importantly, know how  an audience of children , our target audience,
will react to the script).

First, Kathy rewrote the play (adding the important devise of the
Traveller coming on, speaking mid-sentence, which meant that  the
audience is invited to over-hear them, creating the dramatic fourth
wall). Islam worked on Kathy's draft, freely rewriting where he
thought necessary and substituting subtext for text where the rhymes
didn't work, but a transition was necessary to tell the story.

Both crossed out speeches and rhymes which didn't work and
tried to create a distinctive character of each part (for instance,
to find characterizing motivation and dialogue to distinguish Traveller 1
from Traveller 2). The narrative flow (the story) was established in the
first draft, but it had to be strengthened (setting up the bet more clearly,
setting out the moral of the story more clearly,   working out the
relationships between Wind, Rain and Sun). It was also important,
because we were writing for children, to set up a respectful moral
attitude to nature).

Workshopping a play is a simple process of re-hearing, and  then
rewriting to find the play you want. The next draft will use actors  
from the West Euston Third Age Drama Club in the workshop, so
that the writers are not also performing. This allows them the distance
to consider the play as a whole, rather than from the perspective of
whatever character they happen to be playing.

Drafts from now on will be rewrites to make the sound and
the sense of the play agree, and to heighten the humour, where
appropriate, to engage the audience (adding language to add interest).

IDENTIFYING SOURCES:

After the sun the rain / after the rain the sun
is from:

Glad That I Live Am I
Lizette Woodworth Reese

Glad that I live am I;
That they sky is Blue;
Glad for the country lanes,
And the fall of dew.

After the sun the rain,
After the rain, the sun,
This is the way of life,
Till the work be done.

All that we need to do,
Be we low or high,
Is to see that we grow
Nearer the sky.

[TUNE can be sung by Patsy and Pat]

"Wind and Sun and Moon and Rain"
[an old folk song. Tune can be sung by Kathy]

draft 3 script
a half-day workshop with actors
from the Third Age Drama Project
to act out the play, scripts in hand

rewriting for sense and sound
to increase the drama by increasing
conflict and tension.
(finding the focus)

adding language to add interest for the audience
(finding the image)

NEEDED: Five actors, with complete scripts, with each script having its
character's speech highlighted, so the speeches are easy to find. Complete scripts
for every writer taking part in the revision.

PROCEDURE: A script-in-hand read through with actors. The actors
performed the play twice. While the actors were performing, each writer made
notes in their own copy of the script, concerning which lines and scenes seemed
to work well and which passages had to be reconsidered. For the final hour
of the workshop, the writers discussed the script, line-by-line, making revisions
and noting problems with transitions.

In addition to structure and characters being revised, simple typographical
errors are being corrected as we work through each version of the script.

Although the motivations for the WIND, SUN and RAIN seem to be
psychologically sound in this draft, the characters of the two travellers
need to be more carefully considered. We want to develop the character
of TRAVELLER ONE (and consider the traveller's disability, as we will
be performing this script on September 14th for a Conference on
Arthritis sponosred by the Third Age Project).

------------------------------

DISCARDED PASSAGE [DRAFT TWO,  END OF SCENE 2]:
This would provide a useful bit of audience participation, but it
interferes with the RAIN crying. This link may be written into a l
ater draft, however, at this stage, there is no point  to which
it can be moved without interfering with the narrative.

TRAVELLER TWO:

Let's find the Sun ....  where's the Sun?
[TRAVELLER WAITS UNTIL THE AUDIENCE
POINTS THE SUN OUT]
Ah --- that way must be West
So that way would be best!

---------------------------------------

For the next workshop we will be using five actors for a half-day
workshop which will allow the writers to concentrate on the whole
play rather than be distracted by playing a part. We will be concentrating
on the speeches of TRAVELLER ONE and TRAVELLER TWO, to try
to make the parts more equal. At the moment, Traveller Two has most of
the lines. With our next draft we will concentrate on creating a distinct character
and a distinct vocabulary for
TRAVELLER ONE.

draft 4 script
a one day workshop before rehearsals for the performance
(rewriting)

performance.