How can you tell if there's a dinosaur under your bed? your nose is stuck to the ceiling What do you call a dinosaur with haemorrhoids? A Mega-sore-arse 'Gooding' - King's Lynn What was T. Rex's favourite number? Eight! (ate) What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ? Tyrannosaurus wrecks! What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up? Try-Try-Try-ceratops What kind of dinosaur can you ride in a rodeo? A Bronco-saurus! Which type of dinosaur could jump higher than a house ? Any kind! A house can't jump! What weighs 800 pounds and sticks to the roof of your mouth A peanut butter and Stegosaurus sandwich! What do you do if you find a blue Ichthyosaur ? Cheer him up! What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ? Find somewhere else to sleep! Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs ! What do you need to know to teach a dinosaur tricks? More than the dinosaur ! How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow? Down in the mouth ! Where was the dinosaur when the sun went down ? In the dark! What do you call a Stegosaurus with one leg? Eileen (I lean)! What has a spiked tail, plates on its back, and sixteen wheels? A Stegosaurus on roller skates! What do you get if you cross a Triceratops with a kangaroo ? A Tricera-hops! What do you get if you cross a pig with a dinosaur ? Jurassic Pork! How much fur can you get from a dinosaur ? As fur as you can get! What did dinosaurs have that no others animals ever had? Baby dinosaurs! How many dinosaurs can fit in an empty box ? One . After that, the box isn't empty anymore! How do you make a dinosaur float? Put a scoop of ice cream in a glass of lemonade and add one dinosaur ! How can you tell a male dinosaur from a female dinosaur? Ask it a question. If he answers, it's a male; if she answers, it's female What weighs two pounds, is grey and flies? A two-pound dinosaur bird. Why do Tyrannosaurus like to eat snowmen? Because they melt in their mouths. What do you give a dinosaur when it's seasick? Plenty of room. What do you get when you cross a Dinosaur and a mole. A very big hole in your garden. What do you call a cowboy dinosaur? Tyrannosaurus Tex! What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with fireworks? Dino-mite! Why did the dinosaur put on a bandage? He had a dino-sore! Which dinosaur is the smartest? Thesaurus! What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes? Rep Tiles What did the female dinosaur call her blouse making business? Try Sara's Tops How do you ask a dinosaur to lunch? Tea Rex? Knock knock Who's there? Tyrannosaurusrex Tyrannasaurusrex who? Tyrannasuruswrecks the house Knock knock! Who's there A dinosaur goes A dinosaur goes who ? No it doesn't...a dinosaur goes RRAAAAAAHHH! Thanks to Mr Newport for all of the above Jokes What do you call a dinosaur with one eye? Do-you-think-he-Saurus What do you call a dinosaur with one eye and no legs? Still-don't-think-he-Saurus What's the best way to talk to a Tyrannosaur ? Long distance! What does a Triceratops sit on? Its Tricera-bottom. What do you say when you meet a two-headed dinosaur? Hello, hello! Is it true that a dinosaur won't attack if you hold a tree branch? That depends on how fast you carry it! Why did the dinosaur cross the road ? The chicken hadn't evolved yet! . What makes more noise than a dinosaur ? Two dinosaurs ! When can three giant dinosaurs get under an umbrella and not get wet? When it's not raining!