WELCOME to EX-GAY NOMAD
E x-Gay Nomad is an ongoing study of Christianity & Homosexuality with particular emphasis on the Ex-Gay Movement.     Over the years thousands of gay Christians have found themselves struggling with the issue of whether God accepts them just as they are, or if a change in sexual orientation is required for salvation. The apparent contradiction between faith and sexuality has taken a high toll on many sincere Christians who have spent considerable time, energy and money trying to change, often with no favorable results. Outward behavior is modified, but the same-sex attractions remain.     Can gays and lesbians change their sexual orientation? The ex-gay movement says yes, but then admits it is a long, difficult journey:    "It is not easy for the homosexual person to decide that God has spoken against homosexuality and to agree to embark on the long, difficult road to change." Steps Out Of Homosexuality, by Frank Worthen     This "difficult road" has been called into question by many former ex-gays who have traveled it’s winding path and know first-hand the toll it can take. These ex-ex-gays believed the promise of "Freedom from homosexuality" boldly proclaimed by ex-gay leaders and joined an ex-gay ministry in hope of "change". After months or even years in the ex-gay movement however, these former ex-gays report that their experience was not only ineffective in changing their same-sex attractions, but in many cases it did considerable harm to their mental and emotional health. "I've seen too many people come out of it suicidal... they say you have to be a certain way and, if you're not, you're going to Hell. How do you reconcile that?" The Exodus Aftermath, By Darren J. Roberts, EDGE, November 15, 1995     Most Christians would find it hard to believe that the ex-gay ministries they support often produce mental and emotional suffering for the individuals involved, but the psychological trauma endured by ex-gays is increasingly being documented in studies, articles and films. Major health organizations have also spoken on the issue of sexual "conversion". The American Psychological, and American Psychiatric Associations have shown that homosexuality is not an illness and that these attempts to "cure" it, may in fact be harmful:    "Psychologists, psychiatrists and other mental health professionals agree that homosexuality is not an illness, mental disorder or emotional problem.", "In 1990 the American Psychological Association stated that scientific evidence does not show that conversion therapy works and that it can do more harm than good." American Psychological Association- Answers to Your Questions About Sexual Orientation and Homosexuality     Selectively disregarding the psychological data in favor of theological opinion however, ex-gay organizations continue to offer "Freedom from homosexuality" (i.e., reparative therapy) to struggling gay Christians who are facing rejection by the church and society. Whether pounded from the pulpit or articulated in subtle tone, the ex-gay message is clear: Homosexuality in all forms is "sinful," therefore to be acceptable to God you must "change." The not so subtle implication behind this message is that Hell awaits all those who do not change.     This harsh message concerns many gay Christians who enjoy a vibrant spiritual life within the context of Christianity. There are thousands of gays & lesbians throughout the world who faithfully serve in their churches and consider their faith a vital part of their lives. Many serve as pastors, elders, deacons, music ministers or missionaries. To be told that their faith is invalid and their salvation null and void because they are homosexual is not only unloving, but borders on insulting- especially in light of the tremendous effort these Christians have made in trying to change.     If salvation is dependent on one’s sexual orientation- and despite their best efforts, the sexual orientation of ex-gays has not changed- then how can anyone be saved? Ex-gay Christians themselves admit that no matter how diminished their same-sex attractions may be, they still have homosexual desires on a continuing basis. John Smid, the heterosexually married director of the ex-gay ministry Love In Action, illustrates this point in a local news article.     "I’m living a life that I would consider obedient under the standards that God has given me," "I find my wife and my marriage extremely comforting and very valuable to me, and I’m very thankful for it. But that doesn’t mean I never have a homosexual thought." Getting Straight- A San Rafael group home for "recovering" gays By Rick Sine, Pacific Sun, April 20, 1994     This concept, that obedience to a heterosexual standard is the key to salvation, has taken a heavy toll on the integrity of those who hold the ex-gay position. They are put in the awkward position of saying they are "free from homosexuality", when in reality they continue to experience homosexual feelings on an ongoing basis.     Former ex-gays who realized that their sexuality had not changed have found the freedom to be honest with themselves and others. Through education and many gay-affirming Christian resources they have integrated their Christian faith and homosexual orientation into healthy and productive lives. These ex-ex-gays have found that speaking the truth, though costly, is more important than acceptance based on external conformity and are making their stories known in order to spare others the pain of the ex-gay illusion.     Ex-gay ministries claim anywhere from a 30 to 70% success rate for their programs, but typically define success in terms of external behavior and not true reversal of sexual orientation. "Success" (a.k.a "freedom from homosexuality") then, becomes life-long celibacy or commitment to a "comfortable" heterosexual marriage. To date, no ex-gay ministries we are aware of have produced any long-term follow-up studies to justify their claims of "success". Exodus International, a clearing house for ex-gay ministries, "keeps no figures on how many people have gone through treatment" and Dr. Joseph Nicolosi, head of NARTH (The National Association of Research and Therapy of Homosexuality) simply says "I don’t have time". Newsweek, Aug. 17, 1998 pg 47     For many, this ambiguity casts serious doubts on the validity of the ex-gay movement, but it has not prevented the religious/political right from pouring millions of dollars into funding anti-gay advertising and legislation in support of the ex-gay ideologies. In spite of the apparent lack of evidence to support the ex-gay claim that "Change is possible", Christian organizations like James Dobson's Focus On The Family, Pat Robertson's 700 Club, the Christian Coalition and others, continue to support the ex-gay movement and refer struggling gay Christians to ex-gay groups around the country. The truth that gay Christians are living happy and productive lives is obscured by the powerful political agendas of these groups who continue to present homosexuals in a negative light. For Christian leaders to capitalize on the suffering of gay Christians for political gain is a sad commentary on a church that is called to be the light of the world.     Does the ex-gay movement embody a genuine message from God that gays can and should change? Or is it simply a collective attempt by individuals to externally conform to a heterosexual standard in order to gain acceptance from the church and society? The complexities of sexual orientation and theology will no doubt continue to challenge scholars and scientists for many years. It is hoped however, that by examining the evidence currently available from each side of this issue, we can come to an authentic position on which to base our daily lives.     As an ongoing study, we at XGN (Ex-Gay Nomad) hope this website will generate courteous dialogue between those from both the pro-gay and ex-gay viewpoints who are seeking to develop further understanding into this complex issue. Your concise input is encouraged.
	Why Nomad? The name "Nomad" is a reflection of the wilderness experience many of us have faced as gay Christians. Feelings of abandonment or rejection by the church and thus (we thought) by God, and banishment to a spiritual desert have affected our lives in negative ways. This ex-gay exile produced many gay & lesbian Christians who wandered for months or years in the world trying to heal from the emotional turmoil experienced in the ex-gay movement. Deep inside we wanted to return to the sense of community and purpose we knew in our churches, but the pain we experienced may have been too great. We continued to stay away from church and drift through life alone. This website is dedicated to all the "Nomads" who are tired of wandering and desire to rekindle their Christian faith, but may still be put off by the anti-gay rhetoric and practices of the ex-gay movement. We at Ex-Gay Nomad have found after many years of needless wandering that God never banished us to the wilderness for being gay or lesbian. He loves and accepts us just as we are, gay men & women who have accepted Him as Lord and Savior. Thousands of gay Christians around the country and the world live healthy and meaningful Christian lives and there are many gay-affirming congregations and organizations where support and encouragement is available. As Nomads we escaped the pain of the ex-gay ideologies by fleeing into the desert. Somewhere in the midst of our exile however, we discovered that though rejected and outcast by powerful religious leaders... Jesus never left us! His acceptance of His gay & lesbian children is unconditional and in His love we have a home where we will never be alone.   "I will never leave you nor forsake you." Heb 13:5