Exploring the Jewish Woman

Exploring the Jewish Woman's Unique Potential

This week, "Women in Judaism" continues to explore the Jewish woman's unique potential to affect others. Part I will look at how a mother influenced her son, Rabbi Meir Shapiro, who became one of the 20th century's greatest Jewish leaders. Part II will present a selection of responses to our previous class in which we asked you, our readers, to submit personal stories about women who have influenced others in a special way...

Part I: "DO NOT FORESAKE THE TORAH OF YOUR MOTHER" (PROVERBS 1:8): RABBI MEIR SHAPIRO'S ATTACHMENT TO HIS MOTHER'S ADVICE

In the days of Rav Meir Shapiro's boyhood - the last decade of the nineteenth century - Jewish learning took place at home. Families would hire a tutor, who would live with the family and leave only for holidays. Such was the case in the home of young Meir Shapiro. One late night - the night after Pesach when the family tutor should have already returned from his vacation earlier that day - Meir awoke to the sound of his mother crying. He found her in tears, reciting psalms and praying that the family tutor should return immediately. Meir tried to console his mother, suggesting that the tutor would surely come back soon. His mother refused to be comforted, responding that even a single day of Torah study foregone is like losing something precious that can never be retrieved. What's more, she mused, perhaps the family had not paid him enough and for that reason he had not returned. "For such a great and mighty Torah," she concluded, perhaps their sacrifice had been too small, even though financially it had always been difficult to come up with the tutor's stipend. Such was this woman's profound attachment to Torah, which she communicated to her son.

The lasting impression of his mother's words is evident in Rav Meir's two great contributions to Jewish learning, not to mention his scholarship and personal righteousness. Rav Meir's "Daf haYomi" (literally, "daily leaf") resounds with her conviction to daily Torah study. (Daf Yomi is a program of learning the entire Talmud one leaf a day - two sides of a page, with a full cycle completed every seven years.) Today, tens of thousands worldwide participate in this process, which was inspired by the maternal advice Rav Meir absorbed about how a each day carries it's own unique and irretrievable opportunity for Torah knowledge. He is quoted as saying, "We have to spend time with Torah every day, by studying the daf yomi, because every day that goes by without Torah study is something precious lost that can never be gotten back; and who knows what the next day may bring?" In gaining support for Daf Yomi, Rav Meir proved to be truly his mother's son. What's more, he was vociferous about the fact that it was his mother who had provoked these great accomplishments.

Rabbi Meir's second creation - the Yeshivas Chachmey Lublin ("The Yeshiva of Lublin Scholars"), founded in 1924, gained world renown as an institute of Torah learning that produced top scholars and Talmudists. In promoting the school, Rav Meir made full use of his mother's sense that no effort - financial or otherwise - is too extreme, given the greatness of Torah. In fundraising, when a potential contributor of means offered a modest sum, submitting that business was not good or the like, Rav Meir would respond, "But, my dear sir, for such a great and mighty Torah, this is too small a sacrifice." Again, his mother's voice remained a guiding force, and the adult Rav Meir always credited her influence.

In terms of maintaining a significant hand in Rav Meir's development, his mother used both intellect and emotion. In this regard, her approach was distinctly feminine, inasmuch as goodness was mingled with clarity and consistency of action. Thanks to this approach, her message of strength was articulated in a way that was palatable to Rav Meir's young mind.

In his biography of Rav Meir, A Blaze in the Darkening Gloom, Rav Yehoshua Baumol writes, "[his mother] used to speak directly to his heart, in a variety of ways that his heart would absorb and remember." As women, may we never forget that each of us has the potential to speak and influence others straight from the heart.

Please Note: A portion of the information in the preceding essay was taken from: A Blaze in the Darkening Gloom: The Life of Rav Meir Shapiro by Rav Yehoshua Baumol Feldheim Publishers

Part II: Student responses to our previous class "Believing in Ourselves". Specifically, we had asked: PLEASE SHARE ANY STORIES YOU HAVE OF WOMEN WHO HAVE INFLUENCED OTHERS IN A SPECIAL WAY. DID THESE WOMEN INSPIRE OTHERS TO ACCOMPLISH SOMETHING THEY MIGHT OTHERWISE HAVE NOT? WHAT WAS THE NATURE OF THE INFLUENCE EXERTED - WAS IT SUBTLE OR DIRECT? PSYCHOLOGICAL? DID IT REQUIRE GREAT COMPROMISE OR SACRIFICE FROM THE WOMAN EXERTING INFLUENCE? DO YOU IMAGINE THAT THE INFLUENCE MIGHT HAVE BEEN DIFFERENT HAD IT BEEN EXERTED BY A MAN?

Response #1:

I have a very special friend whom I call my spiritual mentor. Among many of the interesting, educational articles she has sent, the most influential ... she forwarded (was) an e-mail Torah portion that was one of the selections sent out by "Project Genesis"...It was with regard to a man who began to study Torah later in life. He had felt he was too old to learn, but realized that it is never too late to learn. I then subscribed to several of the e-mail Parsha teachings, and general Judiasm studies. I have begun training for my Bat Mitzvah... in October of 2000. This woman is one of the strongest people I know. She is a teacher, a friend, a student and a mentor. Everything she does is with kindness, and if it requires effort, one would never know. I don't believe a man could ever do the things that this woman does. Most of the men I know are not as strong or as intuitive to the needs of others. Even when asked, my friend does not give advice, rather, she will talk to you and ask the right questions until the answer is clear. With my friend's help my faith is blooming, and I am finally finding out who I am. Women can be extremely influential when they speak from their hearts. I hope more women realize this ability and harness it to help the growth of our Jewish people. Debbie

Response #2:

I was only ten when my mother divorced my father... Almost three decades later, my mother sent a message to my father on his deathbed. "I can never thank you enough for the five children I had with you. No matter what happened, I will always thank you for that. I have forgiven you everything. Now, please forgive me." While watching my father die in my arms at age 61, I didn't think of the earlier times I'd begged G-d for a father who would love me, who I could share my hopes with, and who could protect me during those difficult times in my life; I can honestly say, I thought how sweet G-d was to allow my dad to be with all his children when he needed us the most. My mother inspired me by letting me see her heart and sharing with me the fruits of forgiveness. Lisa

Response #3:

It's amazing that your title "Believing in Ourselves" would come at this time. I am fighting at this very moment to do just that. Being a single parent of three boys I sometimes have to remind myself to believe in what I can do and who I am. My faith is as strong as I could imagine anyone's to be. In the past three weeks I lost my job. My company went broke and informed me of my job loss through email. Just 6 weeks before that I had put $2,000.00 down as a deposit so my boys could attend a Jewish day school. I was so very proud of my accomplishment. I was on top of the world ...Then the news came... my source of income was gone. Do you know I never felt afraid that we would starve or that things wouldn't work. I felt like the mitzvah of sending them there was through G-D and he wanted me to know just how important it is, so he challenged me to show how badly I wanted it for them and to know that if it was easy it would not have the meaning behind it... (My message:) Embrace the tragedies as well as the successes. I really believe that both have pleasure and promise for you. If you view it that way your struggles will only enhance your self and your life. Stacey

Response #4:

For the past few years, it has been my privilege to study the laws of shmiras Haloshon (correct speech) with Rebbitzen Priva Piller of Chicago, Illinois. every Monday night Rebbitzen Piller comes to a northern suburb of Chicago where she shares her wisdom with a group of women of all ages and backgrounds. Our text is Artscroll's "Chofetz Chaim: A Lesson a Day." Just as Rebbitzen Piller has influenced us through her behavior and example, we, in turn, have made our friends, families and coworkers aware of the importance of proper speech. In this way, her influence extends far beyond the classroom walls. Lynne

Response #5

My parents, aleihem hasholom (they should rest in peace), knew each other since they were respectively 11 and 15 years old. My father from a large, but Torah non-observant family, my mother from an observant family. For Mother there was no way but Torah observance. My father hesitated, but agreed that the home should be observant. Being a wise woman, my mother never, to my knowledge, pressured Father to observe anything beyond the house, but by the time of his decease, at the age of 81, he wore a kippah (yarmulke) or hat at all times, attended shul (synagogue) on a regular basis, studied the weekly Torah portion, and even wore 'tzitzis' (four-cornered fringed garment) - something he had resisted for many, many, years. In other words, while he never learned to 'learn a blatt gemoroh', he became a truly observant man. This was throughout the difficult period of the wicked Nazis, first in Germany, later in England through the time of WWII. Now a confession-----It was my luck to meet a man with unusual good midos (character traits), but who, while from an observant family, no longer observed after he had been through the ghettos and the camps. Believe it or not, a similar pattern emerged. This wonderful man now wears the 'tzitzis'-which were vehemently resisted at first, and learns gemoroh (Talmud) on a regular basis. He is now fully observant...am I responsible? Maybe, with the help of Hashem, I was. Just DO NOT PRESSURE! IT IS COUNTERPRODUCTIVE. Ruth

Response # 6

I believe my ethical and moral values were enhanced by both my mother's strong views and my father's day to day example. My mother, (an attorney-at-law) was always reiterating the moral obligations people have to one another, in their personal dealings with one another, and to themselves. That the greatness of this country, is based on upholding law and maintaining truth. I often observed my mother in her office, speaking with clients and advising them. I always heard her espouse that integrity, truthfulness and morality were necessary in order for her to help them. In the courtroom I was privy to seeing and hearing first hand, her actions, her words and her success. I was raised on a saying she often quoted, "I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet". I understood the lesson she was trying to convey to her clients as well as to me. She was responsible for writing and pushing for enactment, many laws that impacted women, particularly in family and matrimonial law. I am so proud of her. bubbe

Response #7

... In the last 2 years my son has been asking about Bar Mitzva. I started doing research. I called the Yeshiva here. I explained my circumstance and I was surprised to hear the welcome and joy at my calling. I was given the number of a Lubavitch woman who ran "free hebrew for juniors". I called her and we spoke for maybe an hour. She listened...she shared...she directed...she became such an inspiration of community it brought me to tears. She let me know of the Torah Center because she thought it was best suited to my situation, needs and personality. My son's Bar Mitzva was recognized ASAP, and I felt an awakaning and a beginning of a great spiritual healing. I now started Torah classes on Tuesday mornings. and I will go to more Sabbaths. My husband and I are going to be married for18 years and I am going to my first mikva, thanks to my new friend. I thought for some reason or other that I was not allowed, but now I have some guidance and someone I can ask questions I wouldn't at any other time ask. Susan

Please respond to lkohn@torah.org.