Obligation or Privilege?
                            By Mrs. Tsiporah Heller

The Book of Genesis tells us that the inception of humankind begins when G-d creates Adam. The narrative then concludes, "...male and female He created them" (Genesis 1:27). The obvious question is, who's "them?" The classical Torah commentators answer that the original Adam had both male and female qualities. Only later was this androgynous Adam separated into "them" - man and woman. You can ask, if G-d wanted two, why did he start with just one, especially when no other entity in the entire Creation story was separated from one into two. When G-d created elephants, He didn't make one elephant, separate it into two and then create a species. He created a species and that species was elephant. Only human beings started with the creation of one Adam, one source for all future human individuality and uniqueness. And this singular source had qualities that were both male and female.

In the Torah, before the separation of Adam into Man and Woman, G-d states, "it is not good that man be alone" (Genesis 2:18). What was "not good" about man's aloneness, and why did G-d create two beings from one, instead of making two people from the outset? In order to explore these questions, one must consider the fact that G-d made Man in His image (Genesis 1:26). In other words, a person is supposed to use his/her body to express G-d's image. Since we relate to G-d primarily as a Giver, this leads us to conclude that in regard to being G-d-like, we as human beings have the ability to give on many meaningful levels. A person who exists alone can't contribute, since true giving has to take place between two people, on the basis of each individual's unique needs. Accordingly, in the Jewish view, women contribute to men something men lack. And men, conversely, contribute to women something that women lack. The worst of all possible responses to issues of masculinity and femininity, therefore, would be to erase the fundamental differences between men and women.

Returning to the Creation story, G-d separates woman from man by using one of Adam's ribs to form Eve. Why didn't G-d simply say, "Let there be woman," just like He had said, "Let there be man"? Why did He choose to take one of the inner parts of man and turn it into woman, leaving man with the more external side of self? G-d's decision to create Eve from a part of Adam reflects the idea that man and woman are two parts of one whole. Regarding their intrinsic responsibilities, therefore, each has a unique source of power - internal power for women, which is the power of the rib, and external power, which corresponds to that part G-d left Adam. This duality of power tracks contrasts with the secular world in which external power takes greater precedence.

External power often involves the capacity to influence events. When Time Magazine names the year's most powerful person (generally a man), the choice is based on who can best externally affect the world, by pushing a detonation button or by saying the wrong thing or through making an important decision. Nonetheless, if you think about who has affected your life on a deep level, who has been most instrumental in creating who you are today, you would probably not consider Time's man of the year or any other public figure. These people influence external realities, while they have very little to do with the internal reality of any one person's life.

In the internal arena, most people - with exceptions - will think back to the family and, in familial relationships, the mother. This implies that, in terms of internal growth, another power track exists, but is not necessarily validated by society. Judaism considers both external and internal tracks equal and, accordingly, assigns men and women responsibilities that support their unique ways of connecting to G-d. This is the basis for Jewish laws  concerning differences between men and women. These laws give credence to the existence of more than one important power source. The next class will cover the specifics of what these laws accomplish in terms of validating each role.

**************************************************************************************

                        Obligation or Privilege?: Part Two
                                By Mrs. Tsiporah Heller

Part One of this class covered the Creation of Man and Woman, as it relates to internal power in women and external power in men. While contemporary society tends to value external over internal power, Judaism considers them equal, albeit different. The Jewish laws that apply only to men or only to women are based upon the separate but equal status of these respective roles.

Jewish law can be broken down into two categories - positive commandments, which entail regularly scheduled rituals, and negative commandments, which involve restraint or abstention from certain forbidden activities. Most of secular law falls into the category of negative commandments - for instance, "don't kill," don't steal," "don't drive when the light is red." The negative commandments in Jewish law teach us to restrain the parts of our instincts that are not aligned with G-d. Negative commandments are based on certain potential shortcomings in human nature shared by both sexes. For this reason, both men and women are obligated to their observance in exactly the same way.

The positive commandments are where men and women have different obligations. For instance, women are not obligated to wear tefillin, pray three times a day or study Torah on a continual basis. (It is worth noting that "exempt" does not mean "forbidden." A woman may choose to take on certain commandments to which she is not legally obliged.) One of the most common characteristics of some positive commandments is that they are highly structured in terms of time and place and must be performed on a regular basis at specific times of day. Judaism considers this framework necessary for a man's spiritual growth, and for this reason men alone are obligated. On the other hand, women in Judaism are not bound by external structure, as a method for developing their unique spiritual gifts of nurture, insight and internal power. In fact, requirements of time and place are considered a threat to these gifts.

The exemptions which women enjoy in Jewish life - and "enjoy" is the word, rather than "suffer from" - have to do with a woman's right as well as her innate ability to determine what she should be doing at any given moment. A woman's path of spiritual growth in Judaism is not connected to the performance of regularly scheduled rituals, but rather is based on a combination of Torah education and instinct. Nevertheless, if a woman feels she wants to pray in a synagogue at regularly set times, according to Jewish law she should do so. Historically there have been women who were major scholars, Devorah being the most famous.

One of the most misunderstood aspects of the exemption of women from regular public prayer is the separation between men and women in the synagogue, as well as in places of study and socializing. An element of this separation relates to the traditional laws of Jewish modesty (tzniut). While modesty has a questionable reputation in twentieth century society, Judaism views it as a virtue and as an important aspect of a Jew's relationship to G-d. As an aside, the only description of Moses in the entire Torah - we hear of what he did, but only once of who he was - is that Moses was the humblest of people. Humility doesn't mean that Moshe was the kind of person who, like the star of a B-Western would say, "aw shucks, anyone could have gotten the Jews out of Egypt." He knew very well who he was, but he didn't view that as a reason to see others as less important.

The key to humility is modesty. Modesty has to do with not making an outward show of who you are, but rather with letting your internal self come out. Physical modesty and dress in the religious community, therefore, is meant to focus attention on the internal, spiritual beauty of a person, rather than on external appearance. People are often offended because it seems women in the religious community take responsibility for keeping men from focusing on external appearance. The reality is that Judaism believes in dual responsibility. The woman's side has to do with how she presents herself; the man's with how he responds. The Jewish laws concerning male behavior are very specific also. For instance, a man is not allowed to mentally dehumanize a woman by fantasizing about her. Obviously he could do so without anyone knowing, but he would be transgressing nonetheless.

People often ask why men in Judaism do not have the same modesty laws as women. In the real world, the fact is that percentage-wise, men exploit women more than women exploit men. This is a result of what was discussed in last week's lecture, concerning the inherent external focus of men and internal focus of women. An example from today's world would be the tremendous budgets that advertising agencies have for researching which types of ads appeal to men versus women. If you want to sell a man a car, add a beautiful young woman to the ad. Does it work? Ad agencies put thousands of dollars into campaigns of this sort, precisely because this approach works. They don't do it to convey a moral message. They do it because it sells cars.

On the other hand, one of the most efficient ways to sell a product to women is to include a role model. The role model woman will differ according to the product. A computer ad in Ms. Magazine, for instance, will feature an important looking executive. The feminine message is, "I want to be her," whereas the masculine car ad would provoke a man to feel, "I want to have her" - two completely different approaches, which reflect the different fundamental natures of men and women.

The Torah acknowledges these G-d given differences. They are the origin of the separate laws that Jewish men and women follow in their quest for spiritual growth.

**************************************************************************************

                Obligation or Privilege?: Part Three

Student Comments and Questions

This week's class features student responses to "Women in Judaism: Obligation or Privilege", which appeared in two installments over the past several weeks. This class encourages your reactions to the material and has already received many insights into the controversial topic of women in Judaism. Please join the dialogue by sending your questions and comments to lkohn@torah.org. All mail is answered by Mrs. Leah Kohn, Director of the Jewish Renaissance Center and moderator of the class.

Student Response #1

Being a baal teshuva (newly observant) family, my daughter at first had a lot of problems dealing with the extent of modesty expected of a Jewish woman. "Why should I have to swelter outside because a man can't control his hormones?" was her basic response. "If a man is the one who can't stay in check, he should be the one to blindfold himself rather than inconveniencing someone else." I told her, "We are not doing this because men have a 'problem.' We are basically doing this for our own well being. When you become friends with a boy, or even when you start dating, you're not going to want him to want to be around you because of your nice legs or slim waist." When you have any type of relationship, you want to be appreciated for your mind, sense of humor and intelligence. You are doing this for your own advantage. Once my daughter understood there are benefits for herself it became a lot easier. She started taking pride in the way she dressed because she didn't need male approval of her body in order to feel confident.

Jaimie

Student Response #2

I feel that focusing on a Jewish woman's responsibility not to dress in a way which might lead a man to transgress is almost as bad as the example you give from the secular world of using scantily-clad women to sell cars. It's tantamount to saying that a woman has 'invited' rape, for example. I'm sorry if this sounds disrespectful, and I really do want to learn more about my religous heritage, but I find this particular attitude very distressing. I wondered if there is anything I can read which might reconcile me to this?

Josefa

Dear Josefa: The Jewish perspective on the issues you raise is that both men and women are responsible for mutual respect. If a woman is improperly dressed, she is responsible for transgressing her obligation to modesty. If a man conducts himself improperly towards a woman, regardless of whether she is modestly dressed, he is held accountable for his actions. I must emphasize that, if a woman is immodestly dressed and is violated, she is not held responsible for the violation of her body, only for the violation of tzniut (modesty).

Leah Kohn

P.S. For further reading, please see: Outside/Inside: A Fresh Look at Tzniut, by Gila Manolson

Response #3

To Whom It May Concern, I am an Orthodox teenage girl, and when I was younger, I was led to believe women were second class in Judaism. Then, I was taught things from a different perspective, and I was given the impression that women are better than men. However, I soon realized that this was very wrong and a very immature and ignorant approach. I basically felt that these people were saying, "Well, of course women are just better", but when you'd ask, "Well what makes them better?", there would be no response. I also always learned that women didn't need positive, time-bound commandments because they were always keeping home. This didn't sit too well with me either. Finally, I realized, with the help of some excellent teachers and friends, that women aren't second class, and they also aren't better than men-they're just different. Not being able to put on tzitzit and tefillin doesn't bother me, the same way it shouldn't bother a man that he doesn't have a mitzvah to go to the mikvah once a month after he marries. So whenever people in class attack a teacher with comments like, "Why don't women have to daven three times a day?", I always sit and smile because these things don't bother me anymore-I understand them.

With regards to modesty, I also had many difficulty understanding why women have many obligations, while men have virtually none. When I started to talk to more males, and some females, I realized just how weak men can be when it comes to women. I no longer see it as "my body must be hidden out of shame", but rather that my body should be hidden because there are men out there who can't handle seeing a woman without thinking of her first as an object and then as a person. I now appreciate these laws much more than before. I would like to thank you for your beautiful, easy-to-understand classes about the woman's place in Judaism. I really enjoy receiving it, and seeing how you don't feel the need to put down one gender to show the importance of the other. May you inspire other women as you have inspired me.
Thank you,

Elana

Women in Judaism, Copyright (c) 1999 by Mrs. Leah Kohn and Project Genesis, Inc.