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Judging Others--Miketz by Rabbi Stephen Baars
HE DID IT! "I can understand being lazy, but how can you be so shy?" "I can relate to people who are a little dishonest, but not to those who are uncaring." The liar looks upon the burglar with disdain. The burglar, meanwhile, has no respect for the murderer. Everyone looks at their own faults with an understanding that is very much lacking when looking at another's. Human beings are subjective when it comes to our own weaknesses.We tend to judge others, not on their own merit, but on a scale relative to how much better or worse they are than us! If we walk out of a restaurant and you have a spoon in your pocket, I would say, "thief!"But if I have a spoon in my pocket, I would say, "How did this spoon get in my pocket?" JOSEPH PLANTS THE GOBLET In this week's parsha, we find Joseph serving as the Prime Minister of Egypt. He has disguised himself so as not to be recognized by his brothers. In each brother's sack of grain, Joseph plants the money which they had used to pay for the grain. On his brother Benjamin, however, Joseph plants a silver goblet. (Genesis 44:1-2) Later, Joseph has the brothers searched, and thus makes it appear as though they stole the money. Each of the 11 brothers knew that they themselves did not steal. The question each faced when they were searched was, whether everyone else was similarly framed, or did the others in fact steal? (Genesis 44:11-13) To the brothers who found "planted" money, the problem was very easy: "Just as I know I didn't steal the money, and yet it looks as though I did, so too these brothers did not steal the money even though it looks as though they did." But what of Benjamin?He doesn't have money, he has a silver goblet! With every mistake we make, we relate to the people who make similar ones, but for those who make different mistakes, we have no sympathy. The brothers could relate to being accused of stealing money, but not of pilfering a goblet. So they concluded he stole it! Joseph's motive in concocting this whole subterfuge was to bring the brothers to realize that you cannot judge someone by comparing him to yourself. You have to try to see things from the other's point of view. To further his point, Joseph accused Benjamin of stealing and wanted to take him into slavery, something the brothers could not accept. Because they now had to defend Benjamin, Joseph wanted them to come to understand, from Benjamin's point of view, that they all look guilty. LESSONS FOR TODAY What do we learn from this story of Joseph and his brothers? That whatever "wrongs" people do, it is only because they don't realize how bad it is. If they could see their actions as we do, they would not do it. Similarly, it is important to realize that others are bothered by the things we do. We don't think such things are so bad, and if we could see those acts as they do, we would not do them either. If a person sees his own weaknesses, he is far more likely to be forgiving of others' weakness. Alternatively, the more a person ignores his own faults, the more he is likely to judge others unfavorably. Judge people for the shortcomings they don't realize they have, just the way you would like others to judge you for your shortcomings that you're not aware of. Jewish law states that we are not allowed to judge another person. The Talmud says: "Nobody knows whose blood is redder." No one can judge the worth of another person because no one knows where another person is situated on the ladder of life; where he began and how many rungs he has climbed. Perhaps the thief, given his life's circumstances, is making greater, more difficult life choices than the finest rabbi. Let's all stop the judging and start respecting each other. Start looking at people in a new light. If you were in their shoes, you'd probably think the same. BRAINSTORMING QUESTIONS TO PONDER
Question 2: If you don't, is it because you don't think they deserve it? Question 3: Have you ever unfairly judged someone and then later been embarrassed and regretted it? |