Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Amy.  She ate

while watching Neil Armstrong walk on the moon.

When she was about 13, she fell down and quit breathing for about a minute because she saw

Him.  Remember "Streets of San Francisco?"

Sometimes, people ask her, "Amy, what is a man?  I mean, what makes a man attractive . . . interesting . . . appealing . . . uh . . ."

Well, all my friends know that I think they're wonderful.  They're all great and sweet and attractive and fun and . . .

And "Him" isn't exactly like "Him" used to be.  "Him" has done bad things and even played Gordon Gekko in "Wall Street."  But back in 1975 . . . hoo-boy.

Now, I don't mean to upset or disturb any other "Hims" out there who might be left out, but here's some ideas of what a "Him" might be.

Now, part of this is that I want his hair.  

I know it's dyed and processed.  I know his regular hair looks kind of like mine.

Hims are brilliant, talented, full of life . . . Sometimes they can be . . . just kind of

Men      With my shamed sad hope

              In my tell tale eyes

              And the fleet fears

                 trapped within my breast

              There is no last mercy

              There are no last lies

              For my sweet dumb dreaming

                  is confessed.

                      (Robert Mitchum to his wife Dorothy)

I confess a weakness for old-time movie stars.  Because they have class.

Then, there is . . . Harry Lime.

King Henry IV, Part ii

Act 3, Scene 2

FALSTAFF We have heard the chimes at midnight, Master Shallow.