Simon is our team leader and muse. Our performance standard is a true reflection of Simon's leadership skills. He is an expert at "Mock Irish" dancing and is well known for his workshops on "The Importance of Correct Tongue Position in Step Dancing".

Jo has travelled as far afield as Nova Scotia and the Isle of Skye in search of new steps to extend our repertoire. She has developed an empathetic dance style which means that Jo will swap feet in the middle of a step to cover up other people's mistakes. This can lead to severe confusion of the person who has gone wrong and is trying to correct their mistake by copying Jo.

When Eileen dances she yearns to emulate Isadora Duncan as a solo improvisational dancer, swathed in miles of chiffon, wafting silently about a grand stage, with dramatic lighting and an impressive orchestra with a huge string section. However, cruel reality means being part of a percussive dance team with (allegedly) set choreography, dancing on wonky boards in the middle of a muddy field, wearing a dubious costume accompanied by 1 violin. But she's not downhearted...

Following an inability to shuffle in time with the music Stephen has developed a dance style known as "Fake Appalachian" thus although appearing to shuffle and dance the correct steps his feet never make a sound. He relies entirely on other team members to cover his silence. He is usually found skulking at the back of the stage hiding behind another team member and avoids solo performances at all costs.

Brendan follows the Aural Tradition of Appalachian dancing. This means that although he dances an entirely different set of steps to the rest of the team, he makes exactly the same sound...spooky or what!

Disappointed with the feeble sound of Teletone Taps, Tony hand crafts the taps on his shoes and has tried many different materials and designs in his quest for the perfect sound. A brief experiment with weapons-grade Plutonium had to be curtailed as when he stood with his feet together the Plutonium approached critical-mass and burned his toes.

Sue, an experienced Irish Set Dancer, is used to a strong lead from her partner. On joining Chequered Flag she could not work out why she was never in the right place, until she realised the men are not sure where they're supposed to be and have no idea where the women are supposed to be. Therefore any lead she was following was completely unintentional and invariably wrong.

Helen has spent many years developing the Theory of Relative Choreography, this allows one team member (Helen) to dance on the spot whilst each of the other dancers follow an individually computed complex trajectory and thus the stationary dancer appears to be moving (relative to the other team members). Following months of calculations and rigorous practice Chequered Flag have perfected one dance in this style. Unfortunately in order to the appreciate the full brilliance of this dance each member of the of the audience is required to follow their own individually computed complex trajectory... however we have not yet managed to find an audience who could be bothered!

The elderly men of Chequered Flag were so upset at being overshadowed by Brendan's excellent dancing that they clubbed together to bribe the local cash-strapped NHS hospital to admit Brendan and perform a completely unnecessary emergency Appendectomy in the hope that it would slow him down. However, as soon as he woke from the General Anaesthetic he was up and dancing (Drat! and Double Drat!).

Stacey is the team's fiddle player and the leader of our excellent band. He plays a 5-string fiddle to give him greater scope for playing the wrong note. He holds the unofficial world record for the number of musical instruments carried in a backpack, whilst riding a bicycle. He is usually found in Irish sessions, fast asleep, but still playing the fiddle and drinking cider.